I’m Ready for Marriage… But Am I?

I’m a 30-year-old salaried woman living in the capital of a tropical country. I now live far from my family and the place I once called home. It’s not that I’m 100% financially stable, but I wouldn’t say I’m fully stable yet, but I feel settled enough to think about the next chapter—marriage.

I’ve been preparing for marriage since 2023, and I even plan to get married at 25. But funny enough, reality is written in the other direction, being 30 years old, single, living alone away from my family. Surprisingly not surprised, I’ve come to enjoy my life this way. However, it does not make me discontinue my plan to get married. Since I’ve been preparing for it, everything was ready. I’ve prepared almost everything: savings, mental readiness, pre-marriage classes, parents are ready to accept a new family member, and even the wedding concept. All I need to do now is get the right man.

It sounds funny, planning a full picture of marriage without even having a partner in mind. I let my heart be vacant to be ready to accept anyone that suit my vision. Thus, I think I am ready to get married. Nevertheless, the more I think about it, the more I feel like “Am I really suitable for marriage?” As I am really bad at social interaction, I am even scared of relationship commitments – I even make sure my friends have other people to rely on, so I’m not the only one they turn to. Will that be okay for me to get into a new family?

Can I really fit into a whole new family culture?

Can I handle meeting many different people at once?

And more importantly, spending the rest of my life with another human being and sharing everything?

Materially, I am all ready. But emotionally and interpersonally? I am ready, or maybe I am not, I don’t know. I really want to get married, but I don’t want to make it a bad experience for others by not being ready on my side. Is it just me, or do others feel this way too? What about you?