Consistency is Hard and I'm Tired of Pretending It's Not

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Okay, so I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I keep failing at stuff. Like, I will decide I'm gonna do something every day - workout, write, I mean, whatever and then some weeks later I'm back on the couch eating chips, wondering where it all went wrong.

And everyone online makes it sound so easy? "Just show up every day!" "Build habits!" Yeah, thanks, Moses, super helpful.

But here's what I've actually figured out after failing plenty of times.

Why is consistency so stupidly hard?

First off, results take FOREVER. I'm not even exaggerating. You work out for two weeks, and you look the same. Maybe even worse because you're bloated from drinking more water or something. Your brain is like "well this is pointless" and honestly? Hard to argue with that logic when you're sore and tired and still can't fit into those jeans.

I tried learning Spanish last year. Used Duolingo every single day for like 3 weeks. You know what happened? I still could not have a conversation. I could say "the boy eats apples" which is super useful for exactly zero situations in real life. lol.

The other thing is that motivation is a LIE.

On day one, you're like "YES! This is it! I'm changing my life!" You buy new workout clothes, fancy notebooks, maybe some equipment you don't need. You're SO ready. Day 8? You can not even remember why you cared. It's raining, you're tired, there's a new show on Netflix, and suddenly your big dream feels really... optional.

We also try to do too much

This is me EVERY TIME. I'll decide that starting Monday, I'm going to:

• Wake up at 5am
• Meditate for 30 minutes
• Workout for an hour
• Eat completely clean
• Work on my side project for 2 hours
• Read for an hour before bed
• Drink X glasses of water

Then Monday comes and I wake up at 5am, feel like death, skip the meditation, drag myself to start my workout, get hungry and eat, and by Tuesday I'm sleeping till 8am again.

Why do we do this to ourselves??

Plus, life actually gets in the way. Your kid could get sick. Your boss dumps a project on you. Your car makes that weird noise that means you need to spend money you don't have. Your friend is going through a breakup, and needs you or your family needs you.

Like, life doesn't stop just because you decided to have a consistency streak. But when it works, it REALLY works. I hate that this is true but it is.

My friend Dave (not his real name, but whatever) started running. Literally just running. Nothing crazy - like 30 minutes a few times a week. I made fun of him honestly because 30 minutes? What's the point?

That was 2 years ago. He ran a marathon last month. A MARATHON. And he's not special or superhuman or anything. He just... kept doing it. Even when it was boring. Even when he didn't see results early.

And now he's that annoying person who "loves running" which I still don't believe is possible but here we are. The compound effect thing is real and it's kind of wild when you think about it.

Reading 10 pages a day = you'll finish like 15 books in a year.

Writing for 15 minutes daily = you'll have written... honestly I don't know, a lot of words. Maybe a book?

But we don't want results in a year. We want them NOW. Which I get. I really do. But that's not how anything works, apparently.

What actually happens when you stick with something

The biggest thing I noticed (from the few times I've actually been consistent with something) is that you start trusting yourself more.

Like, every time you say you'l do something and then actually do it, even when you don't want to, you prove to yourself that you're not all talk. And that feeling is honestly better than the actual results sometimes.

I was consistent with writing for like 3 months once. My writing didn't even get that much better honestly. But I felt different about myself. I was "someone who writes" instead of "someone who talks about writing."

That confidence bled into other stuff. I was more likely to try things, less afraid of failing, because I knew I could stick with something even when it sucked.

Also things genuinely get easier the more you do them. Working out is torture for like the first month. Then your body adjusts and it's just... what you do.

I read somewhere that motivation follows action, not the other way around. Which seems backwards but it's true. You don't wait to feel like doing something - you do it, and then the motivation comes. Sometimes. Not always. But sometimes.

How to actually be consistent (from someone who's bad at it)

Start so small it feels dumb

Like embarrassingly small. Want to work out? Do 5 pushups. That's it. It'll take you 30 seconds. You can do 30 seconds.

Want to write? Write one sentence. One!

The point isn't to accomplish something amazing. The point is just to do the thing. Because doing it once makes it easier to do it tomorrow.

Stop obsessing over results

This is hard for me because I want to SEE progress. But you have to just focus on showing up. Did you do the thing today? Yes? Great. That's a win. Doesn't matter if you're not perfect at it yet.

When you miss a day (and you will), don't spiral

This is the big one. You're going to miss days. You'll get sick, or busy, or lazy, or whatever. That's fine. That's normal. That's being human.

The difference between people who succeed and people who don't isn't that successful people never mess up. It's that they don't let one missed day turn into a missed week.

Miss Monday? Okay. Don't miss Tuesday. That's it.

Track it somehow

I use a regular calendar and just put an X on days I do the thing. Seeing a bunch of X's in a row makes me not want to break the streak. It's stupid but it works.

There are apps for this too but honestly a paper calendar works fine.

Think about identity not goals

Instead of "I want to work out more," try "I'm becoming a healthy person."

Instead of "I should write," try "I'm a writer."

It sounds like semantic BS but your brain responds differently to identity than to goals. Goals are things you achieve and then stop. Identity is who you are.

Anyway

Consistency sucks. Let's just be real about that. It's boring, it's hard, results take forever, and there's no guarantee it will even work out the way you want.

But it's also kind of the only way anything gets better?

Like you can't hack your way to being good at something. You can't shortcut your way to a better life. You just have to show up, even when - especially when - you don't feel like it.

The good news is you only have to be consistent TODAY. Just today. Tomorrow you can make the same choice again. And that's really all it is - a bunch of todays stacked on top of each other.

Some of them will suck. Some will be easy. Most will be pretty forgettable and ordinary. But they add up to something. Eventually.

I think and I hope.

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What are you trying to be consistent with? Are you failing at it too or just me? Let me know in the comments because misery loves company lol