I’ve entered rooms already knowing what I’d find, the certainty I felt was like wisdom being invited by the version of myself who arrived at the door with the answer already written,
I’ve entered rooms already knowing what I’d find, but I kept missing the actual thing —different from my prediction and altering something significant if I had allowed myself to see it,
I’ve entered rooms already knowing what I’d find, I have been meeting life halfway and calling it understanding, when in truth I had already chosen what I was willing to see,
Did I allow that mistake to undermine my certainty, or did I explain it away before it had the opportunity to challenge anything I had relied on
I’ve entered rooms already knowing what I’d find, but I am starting to count the things I missed while I was busy being right about what I expected before I even crossed the threshold...
There is a hidden certainty I carry that does not announce itself, but arrives in the form of confidence that feels like a virtue right up until the thing I was prepared for turns out to be something else entirely,
There is a hidden certainty I carry that does not announce itself, lives in the way I stop asking questions once I believe I have enough information to proceed, still, I have changed the direction I was already heading,
There’s a subtle certainty I carry that remains unspoken, it’s the small, everyday details of a situation that I overlook, while the ones that align with my preconceived notions and confirm my existing inclinations,
Am I moving toward something with full conviction, have I been avoiding that direction because I don’t want to know what I’d find there,
There is a hidden certainty I carry that does not announce itself, but the quiet kind that simply feels like knowing my own mind and having the experience to back it up when challenged...
I have also carried a quiet doubt that closed the door before anything could enter, deciding in advance nothing would work and there was no point in hoping too specifically,
I have also carried a quiet doubt, I was not certain about while the fuller and more open and more genuinely available version stayed back where nothing could reach her,
I have also carried a quiet doubt, protecting me from was not the hurt I feared but the exposure that all real participation in anything requires and that I had been avoiding for years under the name of being careful,
What have I not hoped for in the past year because I prioritized self-protection over the potential life if my hope had come true,
I’ve also carried a quiet doubt that I sometimes mistake the sense of security for safety, that specific loneliness of living in a space that I’ve made too carefully to be genuinely entered by anything new…
The question I haven’t been asking is right at the edge, the answer might require me to change a position I’ve already defended in front of people whose opinion of my capability matters more to me than I’m comfortable admitting,
The question I haven’t been asking is right at the edge, I have built several other things on top of the reason I have not been asking is that the answer feels too large to manage alongside everything else I am already holding,
The question I haven’t been asking is right at the edge, in the moments when the performance of certainty is finally quiet before the morning comes and I put the certainty back on and go out into the day again,
Can I ask myself right now, without flinching or redirecting, what the one thing I’ve been most resistant to is, is it from genuine conviction, or from fear of what the questioning would reveal based on what I needed to believe rather than what I actually knew,
The question I haven’t been asking is right at the edge, the quality of the decisions I am making is shaped by an assumption I have delayed, and I reach for it now, ready to test it before it shapes another outcome for me...
Watchwords:
Missing what was there while expecting what wasn't,
Arrogance arriving dressed as knowing my mind,
A door sealed so long it felt like safety,
Certainty I defended in front of the wrong audience,
The question not asked is still not going anywhere...
Here is Tikatarot, who dares you to answer the question, *“Who am I?”..*
As and will always be reminding you to dream:
*“As you are still the Master of your destiny and the maker of your dreams…”*
