Broken Perspectives

What is the most important thing in life?

It should be an easy question to answer, but I get the impression that most of us probably don't have clarity on our position. Some might say "love" is the most important thing, but what does that mean in practice, what kinds of actions and reactions does it entail. How do you live a life of love? Others might say "health" is the most important, as after all, health is wealth, but again, is that physical, mental, emotional or social health? What does a healthy lifestyle really look like? Others still might say "family" is at the top of the list, yet in what capacity?

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We all have our beliefs and value systems, but I reckon there can often be a large gap between what we say they are to others and even ourselves, and how we actually behave. If the most important thing in life is "X" it would need to be the guiding force for all else, where other actions align with and are in service to it. For instance, if family is the most important thing, we'd need to define what kind of conditions are important to meet and then go about meeting them. Perhaps through providing financially, being present enough, and demonstrating and supporting positive growth.

Do we leave too much up to chance?

I think I do.

Attention is the most valuable thing we possess, because it is through this we are able to focus our energy intentionally. No matter what we might believe, if we aren't paying attention to what we are doing, defaults play out, influence directs, and we can end up behaving in ways that are contrary to what we believe and value, without even noticing it. And this is why distraction is so harmful.

I don't know about you, but when I leave the house I do the pat-down to ensure that I have my keys, wallet, and phone. I never forget them. Unless I get interrupted during the routine and my attention is taken away to something else, like a phone call, or my daughter needing something. That interruption distracts my attention from running the course, and I am far more likely to forget something. Quite a simple example, but there are many that people might have, like walking into a room to get something, thinking something else between, and then not remembering what the original reason for walking into the room was.

Simple examples.

Now consider all the complexities around our belief and value positions and that we don't even have a clear understanding of what they entail, and then identify all the distractions that step in the way in daily life through external sources, and personal behaviours. Think a bout all the things that you plan on doing, but instead spend an hour watching clips on Instagram, or scrolling TikTok. And they are just tasks - what about those core values of family, love or health?

It seems to be increasingly easy to derail our attention from what we intend to do and onto something that distracts us from doing it. It might be somewhat of a self-preservation position at times to ease trauma, but what happens when we keep on using distraction as a coping mechanism for whenever we feel uncomfortable?

My room and then house was the cleanest at exam time, because I hated studying. It was uncomfortable for me, so instead of working out ways to study, I would do things to distract myself from studying, such as clean my home. What this meant is that while I could get okay marks based on what I had picked up along the way, I could expand on that because the discomfort barrier to "new learning" held me back, where my brain would find avoidance mechanisms.

What was more valuable, a spotless home or better grades?

At the time, the grades, and I knew it. However even though it was higher on my list of importance, my attention couldn't keep it in focus, even if my intention was to study. And the weaker our ability to control our attention is, the more we are going to miss out on doing the things we intend to do, even if we consider those things the most important part of life.

Our environment has become cluttered with distractions of a thousand kinds and flavours, and while we are continually intending to do things that take us closer to where we believe we want to be, we are rarely able to keep those tasks in focus long enough to make a difference. And it is a double-edged problem, because the things that take us forward tend to be the kinds of things that we would rather avoid because they are difficult and make us uncomfortable.

I don't have an effective solution to my inability to maintain attention, but I have always leant on the belie I am a procrastinator. But I don't think that is the real reason. Instead, I, like everyone, don't like discomfort in some areas, even if I am okay with it in others. Overcoming my aversion to discomfort is key to being able to align my actions with my beliefs, because what I believe I should be doing, is unlikely to feel good in the moment.

Pay Now, Buy Later.

That is what I need to live by, with the payments being the attention I invest into being the person I want to be now, and into the future. What can I buy in the future? It depends on the investments I have made. But hopefully, I will have plenty of the most important things in life.

Taraz [ Gen1: Hive ]

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