Not Every "Sorry" Can Repair Damages. Choose Your Actions Wisely
@samminator
Posted 2d ago · 4 min read
There is a level of disrespect that saying just sorry, or apologising cannot fix. I once saw a short video clip of a girl that the mother wanted to teach about some lessons in life. She asked her to throw a glass cup down. She did, and glass cup broke. The mother told her to apologise to the cup and see if it will come back together, she did, but it remained in piece. Her mother said to her "there are things that apology cannot fix, so be careful of your actions." This video explained to me some very vital lessons about life. Some actions cannot be reversed no matter how much you try, so you have to apply wisdom in your actions.
A lot of people feel that saying sorry can fix things. Well, it may, but it cannot fix everything. It is true that apology is important, at least it shows that someone is mature, but you have to understand that some apology cannot undo what has already been done. There are some words that you will say to someone and they will cut deep into their heart. There are some actions that you will do and trust will be broken. And there are some moments that can leave indelible scars in people. These things are beyond what "sorry" can fix. When you know this, you will understand how to relate better with people, knowing that some things cannot be undone no matter how you try.
Human relationships are built on trust, respect, and understanding. When one or all of these foundations are shaking, it will become difficult to restore the relationship back to what it was. You may say a couple of things out of anger and may think that you will apologise and that would be it, but the person you told it to might not forget how you made them feel at that moment, and it may break your relationship with them. Trust me, words have enormous power even beyond what you can ever think. They can build or destroy, hurt or heal, uplift or destroy, so be mindful and cautious of them. You have to guard your words with wisdom.
I once read a story of a man who took his son into one of the tree plantations around the house. When he got there, he pointed at a tree, then he brought out some nails and gave his son, with a hammer, and then ask him to drive the nails into the tree. When he was done. He gave him a crowbar and asked him to pull out each of the nails from tree. It was difficult, but he succeeded in pulling out each of the nails. After that, he pointed at the holes that were created when the nails were pulled out, and asked him to make them go away. He told him that it was impossible. The father of the son turned to him and said "that is exactly what happens when you speak or act out of anger." Even though the nails were removed, but the holes remained. There are things that you will do or say, even if you apologise, they will not just go away.
In the moment of conflict or frustration, many people act or talk without thinking. They can say hurtful things, overstep bounds, disrespect boundaries, or act in a way that they will regret later. But what they fail to understand is that no amount of regret will undo what has been done. Even though the apology can actually acknowledge that you did wrong, but it does not completely erase the wrong that was done. When trust is broken, it will take a lot of time, efforts, and energy to build it back. And even at that, it may not be fully built back to its original state. You have to know that not everyone is replaceable, so be mindful of how you treat people around you.
Before you speak or act, you have to exercise self-control, and then think about what you want to say or act. Ask yourself if what you are about to say or do will hurt someone or if you will regret it later. A few minutes that you pause and think can save you of a lifetime regret, and can save you from causing damage. Maturity is not about apologising when you are wrong, rather it is also about preventing the wrongdoing in the first place.
Thanks for reading
