[LOH-284] My Head Can Defend Me, But My Mouth Will Betray Me Every Time -All I Can Do is Run And Cry

I can't remember the time that I heard someone talk bad about me. I heard things that I feel like it was about me. I maybe just overthinking about it or maybe it is really just about me but that time, when I heard it, I can't help but feel embarassed coz I was hit with it, tinamaan, ganern. I felt nothing but embarassment and when I heard it.

I saw my crush nearby and I thought, what if its really is about me? Then he already knows? That time, the only thing I can do was to run, I didn't really run though but I walk real fast. I don't want everyone to think that I got hit with what they're talking about which I am also really not sure if it is really about me

Now, for this topic: You are at a party, and someone is saying derogatory remarks (or negative things) about you. How would you deal with it, or what would you do

I would definitely run too. You see, when I get too emotional or when I get really mad, my body just start to shake and even though I have a lot of thought running in my head -things I want to say, but my head is too messy that I don't know how to put them into words. I will surely stutter.

I might not just run and just ignore it too. Even if I want to say things as I also want to you know, get back to those kind of people, but my mouth and mind has issues being together they might just sabotage each other, lol.

I just can't understand myself, why in my head, I can clearly say what I want to say without stuttering but if I will finally say it to their face, words just won't come out. Like I want to defend myself and point out something too but, hahhh, my mouth is the problem. I hate that part of me seriously.

So, yes, I might not be able to do anything right at that moment. Dealing it would be hard and seriously, I might even cry. Yes, I cry when I'm mad because of helplessness. You know the feeling that you want to defend yourself and say your piece there but CAN'T. It's so frustrating y'all.

But well, I might think about the bad thing they said about me for some time, but it is also a good thing that I am a very forgetful person. Just give me a month or two, I will forget all about it. But, I will pray that karma will hit them. That's all I can do aside from running and ignoring.

ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ