LOH184 // Imagine Myself As. Mother-in-law

I’ve often wondered what kind of mother-in-law I would be, especially as I’ve watched many family dynamics unfold around me. The mother- in-law is such a unique role, the role that sits delicately between being a parent and stepping back to allow a new family unit to grow. If I imagine myself as a future mother-in-law, I hope I would approach it with intention, respect, and a genuine sense of warmth.

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Firstly, I would want to be supportive without being overbearing. I think one of the biggest challenges for any mother-in-law is knowing when to offer guidance and when to simply listen, when to intervene and when to opt out. I’d like to believe that I would respect boundaries and understand that my child and their partner are building their own life together, one that doesn’t need to mirror mine. Their choices, their traditions, and routines may be different, and that’s not only okay, it’s something to celebrate.

I also hope I would be welcoming and inclusive. Marriage doesn’t just bring two people together, it connects families, backgrounds, and experiences. I’d want my child’s partner to feel like they are gaining a safe and supportive extension of their family, not entering a space where they feel judged or compared. Creating that sense of belonging would be very important to me.

At the same time, I imagine I would strive to maintain a sense of independence in my own life. I wouldn’t want my happiness or identity to revolve entirely around my child’s family. Having my own interests, friendships, and routines would not only be healthy for me, but it would also prevent unnecessary pressure or expectations on them. I think that balance helps relationships stay positive and respectful.

Communication would also be key. I’d want to foster an environment where honest conversations can happen without fear of conflict escalating. If misunderstandings arise as they inevitably do in any family, I would hope to approach them with patience and empathy rather than defensiveness.

Of course, I’m realistic enough to know that no one gets it perfectly right all the time. There may be moments of tension, miscommunication, or even hurt feelings. But what matters most to me is the willingness to grow, to apologize when needed, and to keep the relationship rooted in kindness.

There are many types of mother-in-law and I don't want to be what I don't want for myself. I don't want to be a difficult and overbearing mother-in-law. Someone who make life miserable for their child's partner whenever they are around. I imagine myself as a mother-in-law who values connection over control, understanding over judgment, and love over pride. If I can be someone who adds positivity to my child’s relationship rather than strain, then I would consider that a role well fulfilled.

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