Balance Is What Most of Us Lack

I have been on both sides: asking for help and also deciding to say nothing and sort my problems out myself.

Overtime, I have learnt that it's all about striking a balance and knowing when to be independent and interdependent. These three ideas shaped my mindset:

1. Heaven helps those who help themselves
2. You should have a level of pride
3. Be someone worth Helping

Parents often teach their kids about being independent in oneself and learning to do stuff on your own. Being interdependent is a teaching that shouldn't be neglected. Interdependence is a balance between knowing when to ask for help and sorting problems out yourself.

Heaven Helps those who Help Themselves

I am not a pastor and neither am an ardent church goer but this a sentence that I resonate with.

Quick Back Story: When I was in High School, I was fond of doing everything myself. I had a mindset that was a bit cynical. I believed human beings only helped you cos of an ulterior motive so I avoided getting help from anyone cos I don't wanna owe anyone. That mindset helped me build dependence in myself and also confidence and it carried me to a certain point I was proud of. However, a point was reached where that mindset was doing more harm than good so I had to make a paradigm shift.

What caused the shift in mindset was my first year in the university. The university system rewards those that can source for information, network and collaborate. I lacked all of those abilities and it made me fail even with hardwork.

Asking for help with assignments and calculations I didn't understand fully could have saved me a lot of time and headache.

That was when I understood that being independent is good and brave but refusing help completely could stun your growth.

You Should Have a Level of Pride

Flipping the other side of the coin, I also learned that asking for help without limit can be quite problematic.

I have a cousin from my extended family and he's fond of calling other members of the family to ask for money. At first it seemed like just helping out a little boy but later, the rest of the family began to get irritated because he calls for literally everything and didn't have a sense of pride as a man. A man should be keen on working to get what he wants and not feel entitled to other people's money. I noticed human beings tend to help those they perceive as hardworking and have a mindset of asking only when they've tried their possible best but just can't do it alone.

Be Someone Worth Helping

I am blessed to have friends that help me even without having to ask. It was one day I figured out why they were so keen on helping me grow. I am a kind of person that's always studying, working, trying to improve myself while adding value to the people around me. My friends see this and now they do all they can to see me grow.

In conclusion, asking for help is not a weakness, and doing everything alone is not always strength.

The real wisdom lies in balance.

To be honest, we need each other to grow. Anyone that says they did it all alone is a scam.