The Pressure to Have Kids Back-to-Back: Who Really Decides for Women?

I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across a lady’s video. She was carrying two children—one on her back and the other in her arms.

Then she started talking about giving birth to all your children at once so you can “rest” afterwards.

The baby on her back was 2 years old.(According to her). The one in her arms was 7 months old. And she is presently 5 months pregnant with the third.

It got me thinking

Honestly, everyone is entitled to their opinion when it comes to childbearing and spacing. But sometimes, some of these opinions just feel… extreme. I often hear people saying just give birth to all your children in your early twenties, so you can focus on raising them and resting.

Others like myself believes in spacing kids properly, because our life and health is involved. And we know that pregnancy and the discomfort that comes with it isn't an easy one. So we like to space.

Not unnecessarily for a long, except for health reasons—but intentional spacing that considers not just the body, but also real-life responsibilities.

Because beyond health, there is something people don’t talk about enoughfinance. Kids need care, attention, time and money. And these things don't appear magically just because the society expects us to keep having kids.

The pressure.

Few weeks ago, some women came to my workspace. While we were talking, they asked me why I wasn’t pregnant yet.

One of them even jokingly asked if I was living with my brother.

It wasn’t funny but I laughed.

Because sometimes, that’s all you can do.

We keep adding pressure on our fellow women and also start assuming something is wrong if they don't take our own idea.

I remember reading that women should have at least about two years gap between births to properly recover.

What’s your take on child spacing? Do you think it’s better to have children back-to-back or give some space in between?