The illusion of friendship and care

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No one truly cares or understands you. Other then family or the person who realises your worth and you love enough to have kids with no one has the heart and will to truly keep you in mind for whatever reason. Friends will only care when it’s convenient for them. And as absurd as that sounds, that’s the brutal truth.

“Friends” should be buddies. Not just gist partners. Or a transactional link. And definitely not a shoulder to lean on either. They are simply pals that you have fun associating with and are willing to help with little things here and there. A true pal that you relate with well. But it shouldn’t extend beyond that. Trust is fragile and putting it someone who shares no relative blood-bond or permanent associative relationship with you is a risk. Many friendships fade when circumstances change. Here’s why.

Humans have this inherent selfish trait. We don’t truly care about the wellbeing of another person. To generate emotional energy and constant support is a burden for most. And it costs. Our brains would rather resort to our own needs and desires because we prioritise ourselves most then any other thing in this world. About our looks. Our status. Or what we’re going to eat in the evening and so much more.

A good hypothetical example is this. Imagine yourself in a boarding school where you live in a hostel. And have very good friends that you relate with on a daily basis, share things with each other, and have heart-to-heart conversations with. These friends are you comfort zone. But one day a global food famine starts out of no where. For almost 3-4 days nobody has eaten much and survived on the little provisions they have. Then they run out of it. Everyone is hungry. So people leave the boarding house and relocate home for the time being while you, you friends and a few others stay. Everyone still hasn’t eaten for days . And with hunger comes anger. You notice some of friends being bitter. Given the circumstances you reckoned it made sense since everyone was hungry and all. Until the next day. fortunately the housemaster drops a big plate of food for all of you . Enough for just 2 people. But there are 6 of you. So everyone scavenges for a taste. Your friends and others eat away. For a few moments things escalate and some start exchanging blows because he/she didn’t get his share. Another curses. fight erupts. No one stopped to ask if you wanted a bite. And as soon as you reach your hand out you pushed away.

Care stops BEING when it’s faced with survival. Mutual friendships fail when self- satisfaction in one way or the other is disrupted or inconvenience says otherwise. And “Love” falls short when odds are at stake. This doesn’t mean that people don’t have the potential or capacity to be selfless. But the more we experience life we learn that there are only a few people that deserve to be on your bubble. And that your true friends are your family. And that one person you committed to start your own with as well.