NAVIGATING LIFE FROM MY QUIET PLACE

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​It all started on a very quiet day. Bethel was sitting on the floor in the house, and the only sound that could be heard was the scratching of her pen against her notepad. The outside world was full of shouts, car horns, and a lot of noise; the air felt thick, like she was in a deep well.

​It has been a couple of years, she had looked forward to this kind of opportunity just to have some time to reflect between her and her thoughts. Nothing else would compete with it. The whole family was in the house, and she could hear the small ideas of everyone talking about their day. Then, she picked up her diary. There is a specific joy it gives her whenever she picks up her diary a thick book, no screens, no notifications, no message pop-ups on her phone. Just her glasses reflecting the lamp close to her as she held her diary. "It is well," she told herself. That was her slogan every day. She looked up at the sky and watched the stars as they danced like small golden nuggets. It was then that the presence hit her. ​ ​She was actually a graduate. As the first daughter, she was burdened with a lot of responsibilities, but deep down, she was simply a soul looking for a quiet place. She had been gathering strength to go back and face more noise; she felt like she was losing herself in the midst of everything going on. ​Graduating from school, life had not been funny for her. dad had passed away, and her mom, a trader, was not making much. She literally did all kinds of jobs just to get herself through school with the hope of a better future for her family. But as we all know, life comes with uncertainties; everything doesn’t go as planned. After graduating from the university, it was hard to find a job. Bethel picked up anything she could do just so she could send her younger siblings, Emeka and Ada, to school. They were her entire world, and she promised to make them happy and help them get to the highest level of education they wanted. She knew it was not going to be easy, but that is the promise of an elder sister to her younger siblings most times, we find ourselves indebted to family.

​In all this, the daily pressure kept mounting. Finally, her siblings were able to finish their education and they all got good jobs, but her mom became sick. The frail old woman, who was at the market every day trying to sell one thing or another to make sure she could at least feed her children, was already getting tired. Her back looked bent over. On a very good day, Mama collapsed at the market.

​Bethel was called over the phone while she was at a company for an interview. She panicked and left even before it was her turn. When she got to the hospital, the doctor said Mama was hypertensive and diabetic. Bethel broke down beside the bed and cried. What would she do? Where would she get the money from? She could not afford to lose her mother.

​They kept her admitted for a week. Bethel informed her siblings of what happened. Despite the fact that they were working, they were still trying to find their feet; there was no money for Mama’s treatment, no money for the medication, and her meal pattern had to change. She needed to start eating new things to maintain her health. Finally, she was discharged and they went home. Bethel always prayed for a miracle. In the midst of all this, she was drowning in her troubles and the noise of everything happening around her. At the same time, it felt like life did not really care about what she was going through; it felt like the universe was just there, looking at her struggle.

​Her siblings were able to gather some money, and they got medications for their mother along with the fruits and vegetables instructed by the doctor to maintain her blood sugar level. Mama was getting better gradually not miraculously but the one source of income for the family was gone, as she could no longer go to the market to sell.

​Bethel was still looking for a job because she had not been able to attend that last interview. Then, she got a call from those same people telling her to come for an interview. She didn’t believe she was going to be called not by them, especially because of the way she left but it seemed the universe was finally smiling down on her. She went for the interview the next day and was offered the job of a Personal Assistant. The salary was not too much, but it was okay to keep the family going. At the very moment that her mother had to stop going to the market, this job could help them maintain her and keep her happy so she would live longer for them.

​That night, when she came back home and shared the news with the family, everyone was happy. They all rejoiced and hugged each other. Even Mama, who was lying on the bed, was very happy for her daughter. They all had dinner together, and afterward, Bethel went out to sit outside the house on a small bench with her diary in hand. This time around, she felt happy and fulfilled. The noise around her did not bother her anymore her heart was not too burdened. ​That’s a good start, she wrote in her diary. Today I have found my quiet place a place I come to share my burdens and a place I come to say thank you to God for keeping me so far.

​It is always good for us to find somewhere that is our safe space somewhere we can sit alone and reflect on our decisions and our lives. For me, I will always be with my diary. It helps me keep a record and helps me know the things I should be grateful for.

​Thank you for stopping by my blog today

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